I used to believe it myself. Until I moved to Korea when I was 23, visiting for the first time since my adoption at age two, I dated only white women. As an adoptee with white parents, whiteness was the model of desire I knew. During my childhood, my parents insisted that we were the same as any other family — which, because they were white, I took as saying I must be as white as them to be their son. I mean this literally.